Setting Up a Home
By Armin Brott

Dear Mr. Dad: Help! I’m getting a divorce and have to get a new place pretty soon. The marriage didn’t end very happily and my ex took almost all the furniture. I want to get it set up so my kids can start coming over right away but what kind of stuff do I need?

A: If you're the primary caretaker, you probably won't have to worry about setting up a new home, especially your kids' rooms--you're probably already there. But if you're like many newly single fathers and you've found yourself standing in nearly empty apartment or house, you may be feeling a little lost. And if YOU'RE feeling that way, imagine how your kids are feeling.

You may think that having less of your kids' furniture and toys around will help you keep away the painful memories of your old life, but you'd be wrong. Your home should be as welcoming and familiar as possible. If your kids walk into a completely new place they're likely to feel a little like intruders. This is especially true if you've moved in with a girlfriend--particularly one who has kids of her own, with whom your kids will probably feel very competitive.

If at all possible, have your new place set up before the kids arrive. Decorate it with lots of comforting touches: family photos, the kids' drawings, a familiar painting, some of their books, a favorite chair or couch or even a set of candlesticks from the old home. The object is to let them know immediately that although it's a new place, they're not guests: it's their home.

Since its debut, Armin Brott's New Father series has been making life easier--and a lot more fun--for fathers and mothers around the world. Overflowing with practical advice and month-by-month developmental descriptions (of fetus, baby and dad), the books in the New Father series also examine the roles of fathers and encourage men to continually take an active role in rearing their children. Visit Armin's website.