Making The
Most Of Parent Conferences
By Sandy Fleming
It's that time of year
again in many school districts. Special days
are set aside for parent-teacher conferences. These little snippets
of
time can be productive ways to find out how your child is performing
in the classroom, but parents may need to plan in order to get
their
questions answered. Teachers understandably have very little
time to
spend with each family, since they are trying to see all parents
within a very limited time frame. Particularly if you must schedule
your conference during the premium evening times, the teacher
may be
harried or overtired as well. Here are some tips and tricks that
reflect my experiences on both sides of the conference table.
Parent conferences are
a special opportunity to affirm that everyone has the same
goals in mind: Educating the children. Parents and teachers
are "on the same side" and it's important to keep
that in mind at all times. Most teachers welcome your suggestions
and feedback; we WANT to know how things are going with homework,
your child's attitudes at home, and so forth. Please plan to
share at your conference, positive or negative! Just remember
to do so in a calm and discussion-oriented manner. If either
parents or teachers assume a defensive posture, it's tough
to get the job done. Practice those active listening skills
and I-messages that promote clear, calm and productive communication.
Parents may find it helpful
to prepare a few questions in advance. What do you want to
know about your child's performance, the
grading
system, the curriculum, classroom procedures and routines, or
homework
requirements? What do you want the teacher to know about your
student?
Advance preparation will make the conference more valuable for
all.
If possible, take a bit
of time to look around your child's classroom
and school while you are visiting. Is any of your son's or daughter's
work displayed? Where does he or she sit? What other children
are
sitting nearby? Noticing these details will help you to better
engage
your student in conversation at home and build language skills.
Remember that teachers
are usually rather stressed during parent- teacher conference
days. The schedule can be grueling (I remember
days
when I taught an entire day, then spent three to four more hours
holding
conferences. That put my day running from 7:30 AM until past
9:00
PM!!).
If you have a concern that may take some discussion or research
on the
teacher's part, it is helpful to call ahead and ask if this is
a good
time to discuss the topic. The teacher may prefer to schedule
a
different meeting to address the problem more completely than
will be
possible in a 10-15 minute meeting. Parent conferences are probably
not the best time to work out concerns over long-term academic
progress or serious behavior issues. Also, it is very helpful
if
parents are sensitive to the teachers' need to keep on a schedule.
Please be prompt for your meeting and try to end on time. All
of
those "few extra minutes" can add up to extra hours
by the end of a
very long day.
And don't underestimate
the importance of this little meeting. It is a
very important way to show both your child and the teacher that
you
want to be involved in the education process and that you care
about
what goes on in school. Some schools and districts are even rated
on
the percentage of parents who attend these conferences! Children
DEFINITELY pay attention to your attendance; it can be surprisingly
important to them.
Just a bit of planning
can go a long way during parent-teacher conference time! Enjoy
yours, and discover new ways to help and
treasure your precious child.
---------------
Sandy Fleming is an educator, author
and workshop facilitator. She resides in southern Michigan with
her husband and three daughters. Sandy leads workshops for daycare
providers and parents in the region, tutors students, volunteers
for Girl Scouts and her church, and teaches online classes for
adults and children. She loves to make new friends, so please
drop her an e-mail at kids@busyparentsonline.com
